Have you ever heard of the phrase “intense fellowship?” I first heard this years ago when I had spent a couple of years working on a project building a church with my Dad who had volunteered to put all the plumbing into the church building. Those two years were some of the hardest working years I ever had as a teenager seeing as my sister and I were volun-told to “be there or be square” most every Saturday for what felt like forever. Well, as with many churches, the term fellowship is common when people gather and often can be associated with “eat, drink, and be merry” as it’s written in scripture. This was not the case. Oh, there was a lunch break during our work day. We may or may not have washed our hands, we typically ate and drank while sitting on an upside down 5-gallon bucket using a saw horse as a table. We usually ate a bucket of fried chicken or Whataburger and just had the mentality that “God made dirt so dirt don’t hurt.” Admittedly, we were not that “merry” either. We were usually cold, covered in mud, hot, sore, dirty, sometimes all of the above in one day.
All that said, the term fellowship in this case was people working together, on a project for the greater good, who generally speaking were friendly toward one another, and were all in the same place at the same time. The term “intense”, well, that’s just another word for “fight.” So, when you put together the word “intense” with the word “fellowship”, that’s just a kind and Christian way of saying “fighting with someone you love.”
Ever had that with anyone? Yeah, me too. Most of us have. Intense fellowship is just a much nicer way to describe the situation. Just this morning, with my daughter over what she was going to wear today! She’s going through a growth spurt and is in between sizes so some things are starting to fit too tightly, some shirts are too short or too small, and she doesn’t like it when I ask her to change. And then in her 7-year old dramatic self, she’s in tears saying, “Mom, why did you buy this if I can’t even wear it?” I laugh a little because I buy things with a purpose in mind and when I buy them, she thinks, she can wear whatever, with whatever, whenever she wants to. So we have to have a chat! Most days, I try really hard to let her be herself however, Dr. Meg Meeker says, “if it is a reflection on me as a parent then, it’s okay for me to intervene.” If you’ve never heard of Meg Meeker, I highly recommend her. She is a Pediatrician, a Mom, a Christian, and has a podcast of lots of great parenting advice. I can’t have Emily going to school in pants that don’t fit and shirts that are too short. Not if I can help it any way.
In the end, Emily and I agreed on what she was going to wear and we hugged it out. She even asked me to hold her. All 65 lbs. of her. I did what she asked right there in the closet and reminded myself while I held her and she cried on my shoulder that a) this too shall pass, b) I won’t always be able to hold her, and c) I’m glad we got to an agreement.
Sometimes I think, it’s just clothes. Other times, and more so lately, it’s really about so much more than clothes. I want Emily to remain true to herself. I want her to be self-confident and proud of who she is and what she looks like. I don’t want her to struggle with self-image and self-esteem at the age of 7 like so many others do. I’m going to do what I can to instill values into her and we’re going to navigate it together.
